Polarization

I have a good friend who recently lamented the fact that too many people don't seem to understand that it is Us vs. Them; that the United States has enemies that hate us and that people have to accept the fact that these problems can't be fixed with hugs and other cultures don't see things the way we do .
There are certainly elements of truth to this statement. There are most assuredly people out there that hate America and Americans. This particular brand of person is of the belief that the only solution can be found by sifting through the ashes of a completely obliterated U.S. Believe me, I dislike those folks as much as the next American. Also, other peoples do have differing and sometimes contrary perspectives that we sometimes can't wrap our heads around. My misgivings, however, arise from the fact that this statement is so polar: Us and them, right and wrong, black and white. It would seem that as a people we have become overly fond of eliminating the shades of grey from their thinking.
The biggest problem with this is that it is a gross oversimplification of matters. To simply say an issue is only "this way" or only "that way" is to live in a world devoid of nuance when, in fact, nuance is what makes the world go around. Without an understanding of the subtle complexities of relationships between cultures, people just begin to say "Well, they are just different.", as if that is a justification for not even trying to relate to someone. The willful enforcement of a policy of ignorance like this leads to exactly what the world is mired in now: Huge swaths of "us" who think the only answer is elimination because "them" neither posess nor understand empathy. After all, if they don't share our ideals, how can they be capable of any higher mental function like that?
The moral is, once you have decided to reduce a matter to an either/or context, you have sealed your fate. You are either the destroyed or the destroyer. There is no appeal to mercy, graceful exit or negotiated peace. And to think that victory for your set of principles somehow justifies the extermination of the antithetical construct, well that is just barbaric. I have news for you, if that is your stand, then you are them. You are the same, villainous, immoral, ignorant and self aggrandising fountain of evil that you believe your enemy to be.
No, the world's problems can not be solved with hugs, but they will also not be solved by the wholesale slaughter of those that disagree with "us". Granted, sometimes force is the answer. I am not naive. On the other hand, the utter refusal to ever handle a growing concern proactively through dialogue, logical argument and a detremined force of will is ultimately self destructive. Everyone will run into a smarter, faster, stronger "them" eventually.